What Do You Really Want

You ask me to guard you from bad decisons. Ask me to lead you when you are lost. Look for me for light when days grow dark. I do as you ask and more. On the sly, you know you have a place in my heart. On my sleeve, you see my heart. On my lips, a certain smile only you see. Though you never take my advice. Spit venom when I gently point out your errs. If you want to scorn me, then why do you ask me to stand by your side? If you would lash out in defiance, then why ask for my counsel? I'm tired, and not from the wrath and anger you let loose when I speak my honesty. I'm used to people who don't take well to truth. I'm tired because you ask me to do you a service you never allow me to do. If you don't want my honesty, then I will shut my mouth. When the day comes when you want some brutal cold unflinching honesty, I may not offer it. Or any words for that matter. You ask me to always be honest with you. Easy enough for me. I'm true to a fault. Are you honest enough with yourself to want it? How do you guard someone who throws themselves into the storm? When I pull you back, you look at me with a glare to wither a tree. A tree hard and unflinching. Unflinching. 

Fault of honesty,
ShadowlessTomorrow

Break

So you wanted to wait for better day
I wanted to say theres no easy way
I know that we'll break and we'll fade away
But you wanted to wait for a better day

2013

Every year, another year. I think to, plan to, want to. Change and better myself. Do what? Quit smoking? Swear less? Yeah, all pretty words. I know deep down I carry the arrogance that I don't need to change. That I'm chipped in stone and complete. But the other me's would tell me fix this, fix that. How does one listen to oneself and ignore oneself all at the same time. ShadowlessTomorrow doesn't know... I never know. I've listened to external sources, friends and family. I grow hot under criticism,  lying if I said else, but it helps. Its hard for one to guide their own growth. What has happened is that I don't have close ones brave enough to speak on matters anymore. So I'm left to my waking thoughts which always seem to come when I'm sleeping. Strange that. 

So 2013... the 26th... I lost most of my 25th due to a fall, tear, and my knee will never feel the same. (More one that when I'm on my board again). I promise no changes. Promises are too easily made and easier broken. I will say that I will wake every day and look in the mirror and greet myself, and every night I will see the Same person. That I know I can guarantee. I know I can keep that wordless promise to myself.

Hello 2013,
ShadowlessTomorrow