Hell Is Other People

Lets set the background story before I begin:

It's about 6:30-7:00 and I start getting this really bad headache. Normally they run their course and I feel fine in a few moments. Normally. This time it got worse and worse until I started to scream and swear at shit for no reason. I couldn't take it. I started to play some games hoping to get my mind off it. Let it pass. No dice. I drank water hoping to drown out the pain. No luck. Then... I felt it bubbling up... My headache is still screeching, screaming into my head telling me to get the fuck out. Then I threw up. I don't know whether from the pain or the cause of the headache but there it was. But it was a fucked up sort of throw up... all red and shit... Not saying blood but not sure either. I sat in the shower for awhile and it helped but I can feel it coming back.

So why the back story? So you can sob at my pain and pity me? Looking for a sympathy vote? No. Because I'd like to talk about people. And don't fucking call me a drama queen because I've never complained about any headache to this extent nor have I had one so bad it made me throw up.

Somewhere in all of that, I tried to contact a few people. People I thought talking to would help me straighten out. Clam me down. At least provide some support. Every door was locked and blinds turned down. People I thought would be there for me like I would be for them, turned away or turned off their phone. Maybe they had very valid reasons. But for all of them to be busy on a Sunday night. Little fucked. Little very fucked. If I was inebriated out my wits, granted I couldn't be of any help either. But I've woken up late nights, left for far reaches, walked down streets in the dark to help these people when they needed me. Am I selfish to ask the same? Pathetic am I to ask for help when I need it? Whatever. (Oh and just so you know these people I called I can number on one hand, guess the number dwindles once more.)

There was someone though. Even though this someone was out and about with a friend and couldn't fully attend to me, what little that person did, I'm terribly grateful for. 1 out of 5. Yeah shitty odds but I'm grateful that I know you. Makes you stand out above the rest. I'm thinking you'll stay there for some time.

People disappoint. Plain and fucking simple. No one is there, because quite frankly no one really gives a shit. People fucking suck. They have their world so why bother with anything else. These people make me wonder why I care. Why do I? Knowing me, I'll wake up tomorrow with quiet contempt but still willing to offer two hands. Fucked. So very fucked.

Fucking Headache,
ShadowlessTomorrow