Child-like

Remember when you were younger? And the worst of your troubles was what you were going to do next weekend? Little trite unobtrusive little worries. It was great wasn't it? It was.

But you grow up. You face a little slice of reality. Work comes in. Money makes it ugly head known. And all those playground worries disappear. Can we go back? Probably not. It's quite frowned upon. Trust me I know. Ha. ShadowlessTomorrow hasn't quite grown up yet. Nope. But I'm suppose to. Yup.

Don't get me wrong now. Money is just a small worry in my head. It doesn't encompass a large part of my cortex. There's other things too. Maintaining social connections. Holding up my end at work. Making sure my sibling has enough to eat. Among much others. Sure my worries are small in the scope of all things. Doesn't make them any less insignificant though. Nope. They are my worries. Not yours. You're troubles may overlap mine in some ways but not all. I don't know where I'm going with this. Let me clear my head a bit...

Show me some fire. Make your bed and let me lie in it. Rest your head. I'll rest mine. Far aways a part but closer than you might think this time. This time around. This time. Fight to live to survive. For your right to smile. All the while maintaining a false smile. Once you find your peace. Hold your own to keep. Can you hold mine too? Though I know you're not suppose to. Just for safe keeping. So I can lie here weeping. I don't mind if you say you're leaving. But say you're coming back. My own. My shoes. My thoughts. No news. Smoke and fire. Lights up, heads down. Think of why we're here. Remember that time. I'm sure you do. I sure I can prove. That I'm sure you do. But it's all better. Nothing either. Take a second and come back after a breather.

We're all growed up now huh? Or perhaps to being "grown up". Do we ever really grow up though? I don't think we shed our child's self. We just make it hold more than it did before. We learn to hold more. Everyday. Just a little more. I miss being a kid. I miss being able to not worry or care. You and I. We have responsibilities. People that depend on us. Either physically. Financially. Or emotionally. Back then, people only relied on us to bring the ball to the game. Or have snacks ready for the movie night. God that was simple. Why do we make it more complicated as we grow up?

Grow up. What does that mean even? Become an adult? Well lets dissect what it means to be an adult. Responsibilities? To who? To what? To where? When we were younger, we only had to worry about eating, sleeping, and generally not getting hurt. Now after a few years. We have to worry about how we're going to eat. When we're going to sleep. And how not to get hurt. It's a more expansive set of rules we create for ourselves. To be... functional in society? How? And Why? Doesn't quite click. The gears don't fully rotate in this head of mine. I'll try to boil down my daily grind. Maybe that'll help me clear up things. As a grown up, I go to work in the morning. I earn my pay through the day. I make decisions that will affect others. I come home and make my meal. Play my games. Escape my stress. Then I sleep. Boiled down. Reduced to a few sentences. Does your life not match that pattern as well? That's not quite a life I don't think. That's seems a little empty.

I don't know what I'm getting at here. I'm not empty. ShadowlessTomorrow is always smiling. And it's never a false smile. Trust. But I just wonder what happened that made my an "adult" and when my troubles grew from playground to real world. I think I need to make a conscience effort to put more play in my life. Just a little more. It'll help keep my sane. I know this for fact. You should to. I suppose we didn't have less important troubles when we were younger. During that time, those troubles were the world. It's only in hindsight do we think they are unimportant trite thoughts of a child. Well in a few years, I'll find that this post is just the same. Once again, I don't know what I'm getting at. Eh. Oh well. I never do know.

Just want to play tag,
ShadowlessTomorrow