Not Good

I'm a terrible person.

Girls. Stay away from me. I'll drink, smoke, lie, cheat, and steal. Nah... I could never lie. I'm still a bad person considering my other aspects though. I drink too much. Smoke too much. Cheat, connive, be shrewd too much. Steal too often. Lie... Never... Couldn't do it... Honesty is too important to me (more on the facets of that subject later). When girls tell me I'm such a nice guy, so sweet, so kind. I feign to accept the praise. I know I'm not a good guy... I don't bullshit that I am. (For the record, I don't mean cheat like cheat on a girl, I mean cheat as in trick. Too loyal to cheat on a girl.)

I may pull out your chair, always pick up the tab, open the door, give you my shirt when you're cold but that's all old chivalry. I drink my whiskey hard, smoke cigarettes that burn, and do both way too often. I pull tricks of vocabulary to get what I want, and get the information I need. And when satisfied I'm gone like a shadow when mid-noon hits. I don't abuse girls for physical needs. One night stands are beyond me. I like my intercourse to have inter-emotions. To have feeling, caring, love and want. I don't like having sex for the pure sake of sex. It's rude, it's brash, it's too too primal. Aside from that, I'm a terrible person.

Lying. I could never do. Ever. I'm too honest and I only ask for honesty from people I interact with. Brutal honesty. Tell me I'm an ugly prick because that shirt doesn't match my shoes. Tell me I'm a scrub because I haven't shaved. Tell me I'm not prince charming. I'm always honest. It gets me in trouble but I think people deserve it. Deserve to hear the truth, no matter what it is. It gets me in trouble... such terrible trouble... I'm sorry. Sincerely sorry when my honesty comes out.

That's another reason why I'm a terrible person. I'll never give you the perfect answer. I'll never sugar coat to save your feelings. If you don't look good, I'll tell you. If you think you should feel terrible and I think you should. You'll know. Never ask me for honesty if you can't accept it. Never ask me to lie becauase I won't do it. Always understand everything I say will come from honest heart. Will come from my truth. Will not be "The Truth" but it will be my truth. I'm terrible... I'm horribly too honest for my own good.

Other guys will keep their habits under wraps. Will always tell you you look good. Will never talk to you unless necessary. Trust me darling. It may seem like all the things you want and it is. I'm not the best of guys. And it all stems from how honest I am. I'll tell you I drink all the time. Where as most guys will tell you they only do it when situation permits. I'll tell you I smoke like a barbecue house. Most guys will tell you they smoke rarely only when they drink. I'll tell you I will be shrewd when it comes to information I want. Most guys will say they don't care. I'll tell you look fat because you do. Most guys will say you always look beautiful. I'll omit the truth but never lie. Most guys will out and out lie.

Omission of truth is not lying. Don't play that with me. It's not lying. It's not. If I never told you I was a body builder, would you say I lied to you? If I never you told you I like milk, would you say I lied? If I never told you I like someone else, would you say I lied? People always seem to think lies are what affect them. And I do agree. If someone lies that they have cookies at home; that doesn't bother me. If someone lies that they don't have a boyfriend; that bothers me. But if I neglect to tell you something, it's not lying. You already having a boyfriend may bother me, but in serious fact, you never lied to me; I never asked. I never out and out said "You're the only person I'm kissing." Yeah it's sneaky. Yeah it's conniving. Yeah... I'm a terrible person. I'll tell you eventually when conscience smacks me but by then it might be too late...

To all the people, that have been with me. I apologize. I've always treated you well. I've always cared for you exponentially as the days went by. I've always done more for you than me. But I apologize because somewhere down the line, you finally understood what I am saying now.

I just sabotaged myself and kept you safe. What a saint I am.

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