Happy B-Day St. Jesus

Here comes Christmas. Oh yay Christmas. Another year, another day in the 365 grind where everyone just feels a little happier just because it's the 25th. The 25th happens 12 times a month and we get no happier, no more merrier but that last 25th... well it's cause for celebration of all sorts and all kinds. Lights, trees, presents, green and red like someone with spitting up blood into a pile of their own green jello vomit. Every year someone comes around and tells me, "This year will be different, just try to be happy." And every year, I try. I really do. I try. I smile and drink egg nog (with lots of rum) and watch people string up lights, decorate trees and hang up stockings. I see everyone smiling and having a good time and yes I feel the great energy too. I smile. I laugh. I eat, drink, and be merry. Maybe it'll be different this year. Yeah maybe.

Then some fucked up shit happens. Somethings happens to someone, something, somewhere. And shit gets blown the fuck up everywhere. Always, always, always. Now why the fuck why.

I do not like this time of the year. It's just like every other time of the year but everyone has to emphasize that "IT'S CHRISTMAS" and remind, remind, remind me. I don't care. I just don't. I spit on trees. Smile malicious to Santas and send out dirty thoughts to his cute scantily dressed elves. I glare at all those people who make a list of all those things they want with hopeful stars in their eyes. I exhaust myself... I tire myself out hating everything around me.

I retreat to private alcove under blankets, sipping rum with a dash of egg nog. Waiting for the season to pass. Waiting for everything to go away, for the month where people take down all those stupid decorations.

But someone drags me somewhere. Hoping to change my outlook on Christmas. Reluctantly I agree. And smile the fakest smile, praticed over years, and say "Sure, make it better for me." Make it better for me. We shall see how this year goes.

Hanukkah I'm fine with though. I love dreidels.

Yet another year,
ShadowlessTomorrow